"SMITTY" IN RETROSPECT

As I was visiting with my friend Lynne last night I realized again all the interesting things that have happened during the months of June and July, 2010,- the last two months of Smitty’s life. Sometimes it takes a while to process it all and when you do you see all the ways that God was behind the scenes planning Smitty’s departure from this earth.

Let me take it chronologically starting with Saturday evening June 6th. The scene was a steak house in Hooper, Nebraska and the occasion was a celebration of Smitty’s 90th Birthday. Much in keeping with his style he decided to throw a big party inviting friends and relatives from near and far away to a steak dinner at his favorite restaurant.

Smitty has lots of relatives living in less than a hundred mile radius. Add to that many more from various Western States. And add to that many friends who aren't relatives from near and far. Although he and Lois had no children of their own, he was uncle to gobs of nieces, nephews, and to their children. I wish we had counted how many! The final count that evening in Hooper was 100!! I believe three--fourths were related in some way! What a celebration it was!!

Smitty's three brother-Elmer, Raymond, Ervin

After everyone’s tummy was stuffed with the best steak that Nebraska could produce, Smitty’s niece, Cathy Jacobsen, the MC for the evening, with the help of others in the family, had planned a drama of his life. We enjoyed reminiscing and I know Smitty and Lois did too!

Both June 6th and 7th were days of celebration as more family members who couldn’t make it for the party came the next day to the house. I was pleased that my family except for Howard, was able to spend time on the 7th.

But by Wednesday all the relatives from any distance away had left and things were getting back to normal. As we said our goodbyes none of us realized what was ahead in less than a month’s time. Smitty would suffer a severe stroke which would ultimately take his life.

He passed away on Wednesday afternoon July 21, 2010 at the Oakland Regional Hospital in Oakland, NE where Lois had worked as a nurse 25 years ago.

It happened in the night early Friday the 16th. On Saturday we were told that he might not make it through the night. Ila in California and I in Arizona immediately made arrangements to leave. We so much wanted to be support to Lois. By Sunday we were on the plane headed for Omaha. Ed was already there and met us. We went directly to the Oakland hospital.

The only plane we could get within reason was to arrive at 11:30 Sunday night. Oakland is over an hour’s drive from Omaha. When we arrived at the hospital Smitty’s nieces, Kay and Linda, were there--and Lois. They had been up all of Friday and Saturday nights and continued to keep vigil. Kay, a registered nurse, and Linda, both helping to make Smitty comfortable as possible.

Smitty could not talk or swallow. He was able to hear almost to the end and communicated by ever so slight a nod of his head. He held on to Lois’s hand tight day and night almost to the end. When we got there we talked to him and he nodded that he knew we were there. I took his hand for a few minutes and it was obvious that he knew it wasn’t Lois‘s. When she came back and took his hand he showed clearly that he knew the difference as to whose hand it was!

For the next three days the room there was busy with hospital staff, dozens of family members, and some neighbors and friends. They recounted experiences they remembered in their association with Smitty. Brothers, nephews, nieces, aunts, cousins etc. and etc. The hospital staff was very gracious! Although Smitty couldn’t respond, I believe he knew much of what was going on.

We prayed over Smitty, read Scripture, his brother Raymond had asked sometime before if he was sure of his salvation and he said he was. There were several nurses in the family and at various times fussing over him and encouraging Lois.

Hospital staff was showing their concern in different ways. Kitchen ladies sent food up to the room when they thought appropriate. It was sweet to see how much they valued this couple.

Smitty and Lois’s pastor and neighbor whom they so much loved was unfortunately away on vacation and unable to be reached. However, it was a blessing to have Steve Holden, pastor of the Covenant Church agree to help out. This turned out to be one of the blessings I mentioned above!

When he entered at the hospital room on Monday afternoon there were an unknown number of family members in the room--he didn’t know any of them. Since he never met Lois and Smitty before, he asked each one to tell him their relationship to Smitty and to tell him some of his good qualities. After going around the room, he talked of various things, offered to help in any way he could and read a passage from the Bible and left. All that took a couple of hours and in the ensuing days he spent many more hours--getting to know us --and ultimately after Smitty’s death, making plans with Lois for the funeral. All the family was impressed with his loving caring way--ministering to the living, and grieving.

Oakland is an amazing Community! At a time like this, time didn’t seem to be important. This was especially true of their doctor.

For instance, I think it was Monday night when she came in to the room. None of us, especially Lois had slept much . There were about eight of us in the room. We knew things were only getting worse. No one was saying much. The room was quiet and only one soft light shone. Doctor Martin came in and sat opposite of Lois. In the kindest way possible told her that we were at a crossroads--meaning IV wasn’t being that effective and there was no progress going on--and a decision would need to be made as to whether we stopped the IV or exhilarate greatly the treatments. She did not assure us that this would help and would only extend the dying process!

Naturally, this was a hard decision. I think all in the room were thinking what would be the right decision if it were ours. In that quiet moment Lois looked around the room and asked what we all thought was best. She said she was quite sure she knew what would be Smitty’s desire. We all affirmed that she was making the right decision to stop the IV.

Then was the long wait--on Wednesday afternoon at 4 p.m. he very quietly breathed his last.

The next two days were spent in meetings and preparations for the funeral. So many people helped. On Saturday a.m. at 10 a.m. many relatives, friends and neighbors gathered at the Lutheran Church on Main Street to show their love. Pastor Steve’s message was not only giving tribute to Smitty but more importantly honoring Jesus, the one in Scripture who so compassionately and tenderly showed his heart for the grieving.
This is what he read at the service--(click on it for larger print)

The grand finale, was just before the benediction when my brother, Ed, sang “The Lord’s Prayer”. It was very soul stirring as he reached the ending climax of this great prayer of our Lord’s --”Thine (Jesus Christ) is the Kingdom, and the Power, and the Glory FOREVER! A-MEN!

The burial was at the Emerson, NE cemetery where many of the Messerschmidt family are who have gone on before.

That was Saturday--and on Tuesday Ila and I were on the plane to return home. A little extra blessing was that by "coincidence” we were on the same plane coming and going home. We both flew to Phoenix and then she had a connecting flight to Oakland CA Ed would stay a few more days to help Lois take care of business. Someone has said, “A ‘coincidence’ is just when God chooses to remain anonymous!" He must chuckle when he sees how surprised we are, and delighted when He sees that we recognized it to be a gift from Him!

Lovs and our prayers will be with Lois. I can’t tell you how strong support she will have both from family and her many friends there in Oakland. For that I can add another blessing to the many that I have mentioned above!