July 24, 2009

Second Mile People I Know







GRANDMA RITA’S RAMBLINGS

Second Mile People

“JENNIE”

To My Grandkids With Love,

Jennie was my Mother-in-Love (your Great Grandmother). The name given her at birth on December 19, 1902 was Jantina Terhark. She was the youngest of thirteen children. Her parents were born in the area of Beerta, Holland. Four of the brothers came to America in the late 1800‘s. They were Ben, Ralph, Henry, and Frank. Jennie’s father, Roelf (Ralph), was one of them. They were all married and had families. They settled in the area of Northwest Iowa and Southern Minnesota where almost everyone spoke Dutch and belonged to some brand of the Dutch Reformed Church.

When Jennie was young she spent much of her childhood helping take care of children-nieces and nephews of family members. The “Terhark Geneology” Book that I have registers very large families. Sister Fanny and husband, John Mulder outdid them all. They had 16! In fact, Jennie was helping one of her sisters that had a new baby up in Park Rapids, MN when she met her soul-mate and love of her life.

At the age of 18 Jennie became the bride of Howard Manlove and of course she then became Jennie Manlove. He had a job at the Post Office. They met at a Church Meeting. After one year they decided on marriage. If you read between the lines and use your imagination as I have been doing, the marriage might not have been that simple. I know that I am getting off on speculation rather than known facts.

I would imagine this caused a bit of a stir back home in Little Rock as Howard’s ethnicity did not match Jennie’s nor did his faith! Howard was of English stock whose ancestors left England during the great persecution of the Quakers in about 1668. These Manloves landed in the Cheasepeake Bay area. They were as much English as the Terharks were Dutch!

I’m sure Mom and Dad Terhark spent some sleepless nights over their youngest child! Howard had only recently become a Christian in the Baptist Church! Besides Howard not speaking Dutch and not being of the Reformed Church Doctrine, they were quite young and knew nothing of each others background! Like Tevia in “Fiddler on the Roof” tradition had deep roots in this family!

Did Howard ask Jennie’s father for his blessing on their marriage? I don’t know. Probably. Later, Jennie would chuckle at the times that Howard would go to family reunions and everyone but him was speaking Dutch! Being quite the conversationalist, it made him pretty disgusted at their insensitivity to his situation!

When I was browsing through the above mentioned geneology I found a picture of the whole Ralph Terhark family-all eleven of them ( two had died when young) standing by their spouses. I found Howard and Jennie Manlove right in the middle of this large group of relatives, all Dutch names. The name “Manlove” didn’t quite fit. Jennie definitely married “outside the fold”. I think that took courage!

Their first child, was your Grandpa Lynn. He was born in Park Rapids on July 2, 1922
The other five siblings came during their years in Hibbing, MN. This was an iron ore mining town in Northern MN After firstborn, Lindley D, there were twins, Don and Donna, then Gerald, Juanita and Marilyn.

Howard worked in the mines and went to school nights to get his Civil Engineering Degree. This resulted in a job change and eventually a move to St. Paul MN There was always a struggle to keep food on the table for their six kids and guests. Jennie, now called Mom, had the ability to serve very tasty meals with little money. Even so, guests were always welcomed to their table as Mom was gifted with hospitality.

On Sunday, students attending Simpson Memorial Church who were from the St. Paul Bible School were often recipients of Mom’s cooking and the love of the family. It seemed that to Mom it was a delightful challenge to be able to stretch the dinner for one more person. This was a special treat that St Paul Bible School Students never forgot.




Juanita’s (child # 5)-Childhood Memories of her Mom.

“My first recollection of my Mom is sitting quietly with my doll while she had her devotions after the big kids went to school. She would sit over the steel grated opening that was over the coal furnace in the basement. It was the warmest place in the house. I can remember her doing that each morning before she started her work.

Monday was washday, Tuesday, ironing. She would have a great big clothesbasket with sprinkled clothes and spent most of the day ironing. I was so glad when I got big enough to do the handkerchiefs and pillow cases.

Another thing I remember most about Mom was the absence of yelling at us. I’m sure there were times she raised her voice, but I remember most that she was always whistling around the house and was pretty calm even when we had so much company.

Lots of the kids friends came to the house where they always felt at home and on Sundays of course we usually had some students from St Paul Bible School. Dad always peeled the potatoes the night before and helped with the younger kids Saturday night baths.

Speaking of Mom never getting mad brings to mind the one time I remember her getting really ticked at me. She heard me (the shy one) calling my best friend Barbara, a “big poop”! She rushed out of the house and brought me inside and washed out my mouth with soap! I think it was Ivory-not so bad.

I remember one day seeing my Mom and Dad hug and cry because they had to punish my brothers because our renter (a single man) had tattled on them and they had to punish them to save face although they felt it wasn’t justified.”

For the most part life was at it’s best. Mom loved providing loving care for the family even though many times that meant double duty as Dad Manlove often had to be away because of job responsibilities. And even though the family “lived on a shoestring”, it was seemingly a happy and peaceful time in their lives.

This all changed abruptly on December 7, 1941. World War II was as much a shock to the Manloves as it was to most in our nation. There would be testing times ahead. Mom’s young boys were just the right age to serve their country. Lynn went in to the Navy, Don went in to the Army. Jerry also went in to the Navy. Later Karl Alteneder (Navy) became a part of the family as he and Donna were married.

And because Dad had always felt bad that he wasn't accepted in the military in the First World War, he so wanted to do what he could for his country that he enlisted in the Minnesota National Guard!

These were tense times for Moms of servicemen. As most mothers did, Mom prayed that she would never have to hang a Gold Star sign in the window of the Manlove home. That would indicate that someone in that home had been “Killed in Action”!

Mom prayed as she never had before. She met with a group of ladies that met regularly to pray for their sons and other loved ones in Service. Sometimes weeks and months would go by without hearing from anyone. It was so different then. There were no phones, no e mails, no Skype. You waited and prayed for weeks and sometimes months for a letter saying that all was well. These were four years when ones faith was tested as never before.

Then that day finally did come in 1945 when all four of these young men returned within a short time of each other. They left as young “boys” and returned as quite mature young men. Each was anxious to get on with their lives! Can you imagine the joy of that household and celebration of God’s faithfulness when the last one walked in the door? That old house must have rocked!

Things went along pretty smooth for a while. There were marriages in the family and the Baby Boomers were coming right and left. Grandma Manlove was now having the time of her life. By the way, it wasn’t until years later that they were called “Baby Boomers”.

However this joyous time was soon to take on a different hue.

It was in the prime of life that Mom’s sweetheart of many years, Dad Manlove was found dead in his sleep at a hotel room close to where he was working. The year was1952. That totally changed Mom’s lifestyle. She had always been the homemaker and caregiver to her family and now she had to get out and find her first “real” job. Marilyn was still in High School, living at home.

Here is what Juanita recalls about this time in her Mom’s life. “After Dad died and left Mom a widow at age 49, I remember how faithful the Lord was to provide her with a job she loved. She was Salad Cook at Midway Hospital and got an apartment near the church, (she didn’t drive then). I’m sure these were very difficult and lonely days for her. I never heard her feel sorry for herself but just relied on her Lord.”

Grandpa Lynn and I were living in Texas at that time so being so far away we didn’t know much of what she was experiencing. Although I had known Mom since before we were married in 1949, yet it wasn’t until later that I spent more time with her and I realized what a “Second Mile Person” this lady was. She seemed to be strong in weathering the storms of life that came her way.

It was about four years later when Mom’s life was to take another turn. This was a happy turn. She had known Abe Bronner for quite a few years because of their activity in Gideons International, a worldwide organization for business men and women who distributed Bibles in Hotels, Schools, prisons and other places. Dad Manlove was President of the Minnesota Chapter of Gideons and Mom was Women’s Auxiliary President for a time.

Abe, a widower wrote Mom a letter from Hawaii and asked if he could visit her when he returned. He wanted to take her out to go with him to the State Fair!

This ultimately led to a wonderful marriage (in 1955) until his death (in 1970).

So now what was next? The days following are when I got to know Mom best.

Having outlived two husbands Mom spent much of her time in later years with her “children” and “step-children” and grandchildren. We always looked forward to her coming to Arizona. She would spend a few months in the winter with us.

At that time we were very busy, Our kids were teenagers, your Grandpa Lynn was totally involved in starting a new church and we were doing a lot of entertaining. There were church people, college students, and at times visitors from the North (Snow Birds) who experienced meals, overnights or stayed with us for a period of time.

And Mom fit right in to the situation! She loved the Hub-bub, it seemed. Most of all she could practice her gifts of helps and hospitality. She just worked right alongside of me. You might say we were a team! At the mention of entertaining twenty guests for a Sunday Dinner, her juices started flowing. What to serve? "I can fix this or that-- sticky buns, pies, cookies, or whatever might be appropriate. Let me help buy a roast". When everyone arrived she was right with me doing whatever needed to be done. I would just say the word and it was done. She was truly a life saver for me during those busy years.

It was her service to the Lord and for the Lord. She wasn’t going to be put on the shelf after all. There were times when I was so tired I thought I would drop but watching her and her energy would energize me. I shall always cherish those days.


There were a few tense times too. Long before we were in Arizona I remember hanging some sheets on the line and she tried to tell me there was a better way! She hit the streak of stubbornness that was in me and I couldn’t see but what my way was just as good as hers!

When I went back to teaching in Tempe,AZ I was quite late in getting home one evening. I had stopped to do some major shopping. She and your Grandpa Lynn were both waiting for me letting me know they weren‘t very happy with me. They didn’t mind my being late but were ticked that I hadn’t called to let them know! I had to eat humble pie and admit that I was in the wrong!

And then when she was 70 she wanted to learn to drive. Since none of us felt up to the task we hired a teacher. I so respected her for wanting to do this but we all were worried. It turned out to be a good thing though when she later lived in Iowa. She was able to go down country roads to visit relatives or friends. And she could go for groceries for herself.


A few Sundays ago one of our pastors talked about “Second Mile People”. His text was in Matthew 5, “If someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two”. I later started to think about "Second Mile People” that have influenced my life. Not very many I know that are famous or outstanding as some might think, but people who willingly and gladly went the second mile even when it wasn’t understood or appreciated . Going the first mile is doing something that you are asked to do or told to do, going the second mile is perhaps doing an unpleasant task and going beyond because it was a sacrifice of love.

I could name a few that fall in that category but one stands out to me and that was my Mother-in -Love, Jennie Terhark, Manlove, Bronner!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

P.S I want to thank Jerry and Juanita for their help. If I didn't get some of the facts right, please let me know as I can always edit it. Some time ago Jerry wrote an article and included a quote from Harvey Cox's book called, "Journey of faith."
I liked it so much that I want to share it with you as it seems appropriate to this writing.

"No one's faith journey begins at birth. It starts back eons with the mothers and fathers of our great grand-mothers and great grand-fathers, and before. Our faith seeps into our corpuscles carried on the songs we hear before we know what the words mean. It enters us with voiceless grimaces, smiles, and distant looks, whispered secrets, tics, smells, stories, all incorporated into our tissues before we are aware of it. It comes to us bound up with caste, and class, with color and gender, with language and cruisine. We all meet ourselves, as Kirkegaard once put it, 'on a ship already launched. a journey already underway".


MOM and her kids in 1982.Front Row: Juanita, Marilyn, Mom, Donna. Back Row: Don, Lindley (Lynn), Gerald (Jerry)

2 comments:

Brenda Wilbee said...

Hi, Rita:
Another lovely story; you invite me right into your life! The picture at the end of your husband? This puts focus to the vague memory I have of him. Thanks!
Brenda

Rachel said...

Hi Mom,

So many interesting things I could comment on and facts I didn`t totally know. Thanks for putting it all together. A few questions I have are, how exactly did Grandpa Howard Manlove die? And, Did you go to Grandma Jenny and Grandpa`s wedding? Was I born before or after they married?

I have many memories of Grandma but I guess her baking talent was one of my best. Lemon Merenge Pie, cinnommen rolls...Yum.

She was usually my roomate when she came, that must not have been real fun for her. I remember how neat she was and always cleaning.She was a very good person and made the best of her situation wherever she was. Thanks for sharing your memories.

Love, Rachel